This video made my day. I can say with confidence I don't feel like this when I work out anymore, but I am no stranger to these thoughts. The very end when they both are chowing down on greasy burgers. . yep. That was always my problem when I would exercise in the past. I would get SO HUNGRY and I would tend to over compensate. Then when I would focus on dieting, I would be tired all the time and unmotivated to move. Anyway, I didn't want to post this for analyzing purposes. I just thought it was funny and relatable.
Here, let's judge and over analyze THIS video:
Okay, to be fair, this is HER journey and her experience. I do believe she's trying to be honest and helpful and she may even BE helpful to someone. I don't know, I didn't check the comments section. Also, this is the first video of hers I've seen, and she's apparently made several regarding her journey, so I'm not getting the full story. The video is 11 minutes long, and she talks. A lot. She's got the video split up into sections using title screens, so I ended up skipping to the next title and listening to a bit of what she had to say and then going to the next title. I'll address each title.
Crossing My Legs:
She's right, as a 300 lb woman, I can't cross my legs. I don't think. Here, let me try. . . Well, I suppose I can, but it's not comfortable. I can't say I miss it or have found myself envying women who can. I remember a few years back when I had lost weight enough that I could cross them with ease again and I remember the feeling of pride I had, but my over all life experience hasn't been tarnished by this lack of dexterity. I do miss getting up and down off the floor with ease. A couple of years ago, I worked out enough that I was able to sit criss-cross applesauce (Indian style) with the kids again, and that was nice. I don't know. I'm sure I'll be proud to have it back, but as of right now, I don't miss crossing my legs.
Hugging Without Feeling Self Conscious:
Is this a thing? I tend to feel I give the best hugs BECAUSE I'm overweight. I was at an airport once in the area where people come off the plane and their loved ones rush to meet them. Well, I saw a really skinny girl come through the gate and a really skinny guy rushed to give her a big hug. I'm sorry, but to me, it looked like two sticks banging together. I literally wondered if the bone on bone contact was painful for them? I don't know. When I feel like giving a big hug, I have no worries about giving it my all. That's my experience.
I will give this much to her, though: when I was a teenager or maybe even my early twenties, I did experience the fear that someone would touch my rolls and be grossed out. Then I got my first boyfriend and he didn't care at all, so I got over it.
Wearing "Normal" Sized Jewelry:
I think maybe she wore her fat differently from me. She said she wore a size 11 ring and had to wear men's watches. My ring size is 9. . and a half? And I don't find many bracelets that fit me loosely enough, but I always attributed that to my bone structure. I don't know. When I was in high school and got my weight from 190 to 178 (my mom likes to refer to that time as "when you lost all that weight", but it was only about twelve pounds), I noticed my shoe size went down from between 10.5/11 to 9/9.5, so maybe there's room for shrinkage, but I'm not really a jewelry person, so I don't notice it so much. I am in a community choir and we have to wear these necklaces that hang loosely on most people but tend to become a choker on me. Maybe that will change?! I would like to wear BELTS! That would be fun.
Wearing "Cute Strappy" Shoes:
Okay, I'm going to say I relate to this one the most. She's talking mostly about heels in this section and I'm going to say I know exactly what she's talking about. I do not do heels. I've even gone all the way to the other end of the spectrum and purchased orthopedic shoes for myself. You have to when you're overweight and you stand on concrete all day. My first couple of years teaching, I experienced heel pain from improper shoes, so I bought Crocs. Not the big ugly ones with holes, but the cuter ballerina flats. Then I broke my ankle at the beginning of year three and my other knee had to over compensate, so I had knee problems. My answer to that was Orthaheel shoes. I do have some regular ballerina flats for church and flip flops for summertime wear, but no heels no way. My ankles are to weak to support all this weight and the heavier you are, the more heels HURT your feet. I'll try heels when I get closer to the 200 mark. As far as the "strappy" shoes go, they just don't look good on swollen ankles. My answer has always been long pants to cover up my feet/ankles whenever possible.
Getting Dressed Each Day:
She waxes on about how she dreaded getting her outfits together when she was fat. Blah blah blah. Find cute clothes that fit and it doesn't matter what size you are, dressing in new clothes is always fun. I just never seem to have the funds to allocate towards clothes, so all my stuff has hidden holes and buttons and seams that have been mended. No matter my size, I've always liked to wear bold colors. It's just part of me. Now, I am in no way a "fashionista", but I do okay.
Overall, her "motivation" does not work for me. She puts down being fat in such a negative way, and sorry, if you are now skinny, you don't get to go there. It's like my friend who had been single with me for years and then found herself in a relationship, but wanting to still shout out to her single friends on Valentines Day. It just doesn't go over well. Being fat has challenges, yes, but it isn't the nightmare she was waxing on about. I tend to face my fat challenges with humor, not shame. Anyway. That's where I am today.
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