I'm really angry at myself today. I weigh 314.6 lbs. WHAAAAAA?!?! Okay, so I knew I had hit 300 a while ago. Even when I reached 309, I still didn't feel TOOO bad. But somehow, 314.6 has kicked my butt.
I'm glad I didn't see this before I decided to eat healthy. I have been on a gradual mission this summer. I kicked out coffee and tea, suffered the migraines and came out the other side. Now when I eat my meals, I reach for water instead of a sugary caffeinated beverage. I admit, when I go to restaurants, I'm still adding sweetener to my water to give it a flavor, but that will pass soon enough. I also cut back on sugar. By this, I mean I am making myself look at the sugar content on EVERYTHING suspicious. I aim for under 9 grams per serving, but I've been letting 12 or 13 slide by.
Now I'm moving into my veggie loving stage. I've started juicing again. Today I juiced a whole bag of oranges, 16 oz of strawberries, most of a bag of spinach, and 8 carrots. Seems like a lot, but it will probably only be good for 4 servings of juice. I've done juicing before, but was kind of lost at it. I think instead of looking in my books and trying to follow some kind of recipe, I'll rely mainly on what's in season and cheap. Right now, that's strawberries and oranges. I still want to learn about herbs and such, but the most important thing for me is to settle into a routine. If I can't master this, I won't keep it up. I'm hoping that the seasonal fruits and veggies will give me some variety.
My next goal is to start making myself move. It's so easy to sit on my butt and watch t.v. and pass out into my daily coma. I need to get up and around. I'm still figuring out what that will look like. I have options. There's an exercise machine in my basement, I have wii Fit, Netflix offers a variety of workout videos, Rick has pulled out and fixed up my old bike.. . . Again, I have to want to do this. Otherwise, it turns into another Katie fad.
Again, I will take a moment to complain about my husband's lack of, well, he supports me. He knows I want to have babies (and he wants them, too). He tries to keep me accountable, but his little scoldings are half hearted. I don't know what it is that he's lacking. Maybe I want him to jump on my bandwagons with me. It doesn't help things that he's still buying sugar. He bought a huge bag of mini candy bars last night for his bible study. I couldn't help myself. I ate all the Twix I could. This morning, following the "after my period high", I put all the leftovers (and there were a ton) in a gallon ziplock bag and put them in the basement deep freeze.
I want to be healthy. I want to take control of this thing I have been fighting for so long. I want this to happen now.
