CNPM is my abbreviated slang for Center for Nutrition and Preventative Medicine.
Okay, so last week, I had some fitness tests done, got weighed, filled out a very long questionnaire, had some blood taken . . . but today. Today was the accumulation of all the information they received about me and the analysis according to Dr. Tague of what should be done about it.
It started with some more questions from a nurse to kind of follow up on information. She went over my blood tests and my body analysis with me. I'm currently 319 lbs.** There was a readout that told me how much of that was fat and how much was really
truly me. Needless to say, the numbers weren't good. My blood tests showed that I was deficient in Vitiman D and Iron, and that my blood sugars were higher than they like. It showed a couple of other irregularities that I do not understand, but might have something to do with all the pills. Later on in my session, a nurse came back with a butt load of Vitamin D pills for me to take. I mean seriously, it was a lot. I asked her later how many pills she had given me and she told me it was 30 pills. I'm going to take a picture and show you how many that really is at the end of this post.
After all the talk with the nurse, Dr. Tague came in to speak with me. I think that was one of the most candid and interesting talks about my weight I have ever had. He had the little "why do I think I'm fat" quiz that I had filled out, he had my blood test results, and he had my body fat analysis form all to work with and what he had to say was kind of surprising.
He talked about my dramatic spike in weight since age 20 and how that's not normal. I estimated that when I was 20, I weighed about 220 lbs. Since then, 15 years later, I've put on about 100 lbs. That is not supposed to happen. He emphasized that I was intelligent and capable, but despite my best efforts, my weight was still going up. I guess I've just gotten used to the notion that my weight gain is my fault. He asked me why I thought I had gained so much weight. I was kind of taken aback because I thought it was obvious. I told him lack of proper diet and exercise, and then I told him I emotionally eat and a lot of my life has been stressful and eating makes me feel better. He seemed to like the last part of my answer. He started telling me that lack of exercise wasn't the reason for my weight gain. He said most people don't go to the gym on a regular basis, but they aren't putting the weight on like I have. He narrowed my problem down to genetics and a wanky metabolism. It's weird, but this is a conversation I've needed to have for years and it does make sense. I've always felt like losing weight was like sucking my gut in. When I did it, it improved my look and I felt better about myself, but I could only do it for so long before I had to relax and once I relaxed, I was back to where I started. ***
The end result was he put me on a plan for a BUNCH of vitamins and complete meal replacements. I'm not supposed to eat ANYTHING outside of this plan. Well, there's a list of "free" things like spices or certain condiments. I'm surprised that more vegetables aren't on there, but I can eat 2 servings of spinach and mixed greens per day. I am on this strict diet for as long as it takes to get me to a certain weight goal. I'm not sure, but I think it's when I get to 220, and then we wean me off the meal plan and (hopefully) some of these supplements. Seriously, they have me taking 16 pills in the morning, 4 pills at 4 pm, and 14 pills at night. I'm surprised they want me to eat any food on top of that. I'm also taking a Satisfy Fiber powder drink that I mix up before supper to help fill me up. OH! And I forgot about the appetite suppressant. That one he had to prescribe and I haven't picked it up from the pharmacy yet.
I'm seriously so overwhelmed by all of this, and of course, when the nurse was going over all of this stuff with me, all I saw were dollar signs. Nothing prepared me for my total, though. There were some discounts involved, but the end grand total was $301. I haven't told Rick yet. I'm not done peeing my pants over that total yet. The food they gave me will last a week, and the vitamin supplements are good for a month, but man. Man man man, that sounds like a lot of money. I'd better be 100% on board with this or else Rick will REALLY have something to be upset about. What a waste of money if I just give up on it! Hopefully, I will be able to see the monetary value of it sometime soon. I put this first installment on my medical flex card, but if this goes on for too many months, I don't see the flex card holding out. I might start looking into part time jobs to make up the difference. Maybe my mom will have a generous wild hair and offer to pay for it. She's excited about this new program from what I was able to tell her a couple of weeks ago. Now that I have more information, I think she'll be even more excited for me. I want to be excited, but right now I'm just stressed.
Pictured above: The meal replacement food. I'm supposed to eat the oatmeal for breakfast, a chocolate shake for a mid-morning snack, the chicken noodle soup and cheddar chips for lunch, a chocolate bar for an afternoon snack, the beef vegetable soup and another chocolate shake for dinner, and the vanilla pudding for an evening snack. Basically, I'm supposed to eat every 2 to 3 hours to get my metabolism going.
Pictured above: My legion of supplements. From left to right: Metabolism Essentials multivitamin, Omega 3 Essentials, Potassium Citrate, 5-HTP, Vitamin D-3 Iron Chelate, Cal Mag Essentials, Chromium GTF 200, and Satisfy Fiber. Nuts.
Pictured above: Remember when I said the nurse returned with 30 Vitamin D pills for me to take? I counted 30 of them out for you to see. It was more daunting when I saw them in that little dixie cup she gave me. I still seriously feel them stuck in my esophagus.
**This is surprisingly 11 lbs less than last week, but I was also suffering from the period from hell and that might have had a lot to do with it. I have been walking daily (mostly) since then and I think that has helped, too.
*** He did mention that he would like me to wait until I've lost 80-100 lbs before I get pregnant. I really didn't want to go on birth control on top of everything else, but he did mention a spermicide gel for the meantime. On top of everything else right now, I really don't want to spend more money on things for this program. . . but I want to be healthy before I get pregnant, too. I don't know. One of the many things to talk about with Rick.
Here I am at 34 and about to tell a "when I was young" story. . . I had a VCR of Yoga for Dummies that I got cheap on Amazon. I remember yoga. Friendly, calm, encouraging yoga. We were friends. Granted, I was 25, a good 70 lbs lighter, and I had less of an understanding of my body's limits.